Minka Guides - A lifestyle blog for everyone who questions the norm

Male validation - couple SHARE CREDIT Taylor Harding_Unsplash

Challenging my need for male validation by owning my desire

Binge-worthy TV shows about polyamory

Binge-worthy TV shows about polyamory

Polyamory vs open relationship - what is an open relationship CREDIT Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Polyamory vs open relationships: what’s the difference?

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory love CREDIT Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory

How to be friends with your ex - share CREDIT Priscilla du Preez-Unsplash

How to be friends with your ex

Being friends with an ex used to be something I found hard to imagine. I would sever contact pretty quickly and pretend like ‘we’ were never a thing. Honestly, Somebody That...

Queer books - SHARE - CREDIT Peggy Anke-Unsplash

Hot new queer books

If you’re looking for something new to read, here are...

Nieuwmarkt and Lastage Amsterdam - share CREDIT Museum Het Rembrandthuis_©KIRSTENVANSANTEN

24-hour neighbourhood guide: Nieuwmarkt and Lastage, Amsterdam

One of the oldest districts in Amsterdam, Nieuwmarkt and Lastage...

What does commitment mean in non-monogamy_ - share CREDIT Priscilla du Preez-Unsplash

What does commitment mean in non-monogamy?

Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about commitment in non-monogamous...

Menopause in your 30s - share CREDIT Joel Muniz-Unsplash

4 things you should know about menopause in your 30s

Today is World Menopause Day, so I thought I’d share...

How to be friends with your ex - share CREDIT Priscilla du Preez-Unsplash

How to be friends with your ex

Being friends with an ex used to be something I found hard to imagine. I would sever contact pretty quickly and pretend like ‘we’ were never a thing. Honestly, Somebody That...

Queer books - SHARE - CREDIT Peggy Anke-Unsplash

Hot new queer books

If you’re looking for something new to read, here are...

Nieuwmarkt and Lastage Amsterdam - share CREDIT Museum Het Rembrandthuis_©KIRSTENVANSANTEN

24-hour neighbourhood guide: Nieuwmarkt and Lastage, Amsterdam

One of the oldest districts in Amsterdam, Nieuwmarkt and Lastage...

Fall into festive adventures

Time to be as cool as the weather

SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque - Fanny Suicide in a Cleveland graveyard CREDIT Fractal Suicide

My Halloween with SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque

This month marks 15 years since I toured the US with the SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque show. For over six weeks, I...

Bombay Sapphire Distillery tour @minkaguides Glasshouses greenhouses

Day trip to the Bombay Sapphire Distillery

Fancy yourself a bit of a gin enthusiast? Or looking for a lovely day trip from London? The...

Spending Christmas alone_fabulous CREDIT Minka Guides

How to be fabulous when spending Christmas alone

When I originally wrote this blog last year, I could never have anticipated the reason why large numbers...

Edinburgh on a budget

Love unlimited

Relationship resources for an uncoventional age

What does commitment mean in non-monogamy_ - share CREDIT Priscilla du Preez-Unsplash

What does commitment mean in non-monogamy?

Queer guide to polyamorous London

Queer guide to polyamorous London

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory love CREDIT Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory

30 things I learnt from life after 30 - New York 2015 CREDIT Minka Guides

30 things I learnt from life after 30

Turning 40 - my birthday CREDIT Minka Guides

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Edinburgh on a budget

Fall into festive adventures

Time to be as cool as the weather

SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque - Fanny Suicide in a Cleveland graveyard CREDIT Fractal Suicide

My Halloween with SuicideGirls Blackheart Burlesque

Bombay Sapphire Distillery tour @minkaguides Glasshouses greenhouses

Day trip to the Bombay Sapphire Distillery

Spending Christmas alone_fabulous CREDIT Minka Guides

How to be fabulous when spending Christmas alone

Managing Ulcerative Colitis (through the art of Voguing!) - Brighton Pride 2019, at ‘Let’s Have A Kiki’ CREDIT Anna Gibson

Managing Ulcerative Colitis – through the art of voguing!

Hot books

My fave queer and new release titles

Polyamory books - Stepping off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran CREDIT David Bombaça

Best relationship and polyamory books for navigating non-monogamy

Reading is quite a fascinating experience. Like a snapshot of a particular...

Best queer books 2020 - Handsome by Holly Lorka CREDIT Minka Guides

Queer books 2020: six titles that made my year

According to Goodreads, I read 37 books in 2020 – and it’s...

Morning goodness

Because brunch is everything

Best brunch in Barcelona @minkaguides Federal Sant Antoni French Toast

Feast your eyes on the best brunch in Barcelona

When I first visited over a decade ago, Barcelona‘s brunch scene was...

Best-brunch-in-Dublin-Fumbally-2 banner CREDIT Minka Guides

Where to find the best brunch in Dublin

If you didn’t already know, I love me some brunch. Being Australian,...

Best brunch in Manchester @minkaguides Federal Cafe

Where to find the best brunch in Manchester!

I usually spend most of my pre-trip prep time working out where...

best brunch in stockholm @minkaguides

Where to find the best brunch in Stockholm

I spend A LOT of time before I visit a city working...

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Love unlimited

Relationship resources for an uncoventional age

Kitchen table polyamory - share CREDIT Toa Heftiba-unsplash

Parallel, garden party and kitchen table polyamory: what’s the difference?

Sexy in things to do in London Lick strip club CREDIT Chanel Moye

Seriously sexy things to do in London

Polyamorous dating sites CREDIT Dimitar Belchev on Unsplash

Polyamorous dating sites and apps

Male validation - couple SHARE CREDIT Taylor Harding_Unsplash

Challenging my need for male validation by owning my desire

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Hot reads

My fave queer and new release titles

Polyamory books - Stepping off the Relationship Escalator by Amy Gahran CREDIT David Bombaça

Best relationship and polyamory books for navigating non-monogamy

Best queer books 2020 - Handsome by Holly Lorka CREDIT Minka Guides

Queer books 2020: six titles that made my year

Trending now

Male validation - couple SHARE CREDIT Taylor Harding_Unsplash

Challenging my need for male validation by owning my desire

Binge-worthy TV shows about polyamory

Binge-worthy TV shows about polyamory

Polyamory vs open relationship - what is an open relationship CREDIT Gemma Chua-Tran on Unsplash

Polyamory vs open relationships: what’s the difference?

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory love CREDIT Jakob Owens on Unsplash

Relationship anarchy vs solo polyamory

Mexico, here I come! ✈️🇲🇽 Leaving feeli

Mexico, here I come! ✈️🇲🇽

Leaving feeling so loved and supported ❤️ The past six weeks have been an incredible experience realising how many awesome people are there for me ❤️

Can't wait to come back in April and give y'all a MASSIVE squeeze 🤗

📷: @zanehenry

This beautiful human and I are currently in the pr

This beautiful human and I are currently in the process of getting divorced ❤️

If you've been following me for a while, you'll be very familiar with @robyn_withawhy. We spent over ten years in a relationship together and were a pretty dynamic duo 👯‍♀️

Often when you break up with someone, they disappear from your social media posts, never to be seen again. This is why I wanted to share this update with you about us. Even though it's been nearly three years since we ended our relationship, we still are an important part of each others lives.

I feel so blessed that I got to spend a decade of my life with someone as brilliant and beautiful as Robyn. She is one of the most incredible people I've ever had the good fortune to meet and I am eternally proud of her 💕

I'm also so proud of how we have slowly begun to transition our connection from a romantic relationship into a deeply supportive friendship. It's taken time and effort to get to where we are but to still be a part of each others lives is worth all the work.

It's really changed my perspective on what a connection can look like after a break up too. So, I've taken what I've learnt from this experience and put together my guide on how to be friends with your ex. Click the link in my bio to have a read ☝️

This lovely photo was taken at Planet @sink_the_pink at @printworkslondon a few weeks ago. It was the first gig we worked together in a while and we did so with a lot of loving support. I'm so glad to still have her amazing energy in my life - now and for many years to come ❣️

My life feels like the theme song to @bigmouthnetf

My life feels like the theme song to @bigmouthnetflix these days 🙃

Sing it with me: 🎵 I'M GO-ING THROUGH CHANGE-S 🎵

It's not surprising really, as I'm essentially going through another puberty right now.

My hormones are in flux. I'm often irritable, anxious and depressed. Not sleeping well. My sex drive is through the roof. If only I had my own Maury or Connie to guide me through this journey 😂

So, what is this journey exactly? It's perimenopause. The period (pardon the pun) of transition that leads to menopause (aka becoming a person who doesn't menstruate).

It's a journey I started on a few years ago but it wasn't until this year that my symptoms really kicked into action. And my mind and body haven't been the same since 🙃

And as it's World Menopause Day today, I thought I'd share this journey with you 🤗

I've also written a blog about good things to know about menopause in your 30s. For example, did you know 1 in 100 people who menstruate go through menopause in their 30s? No? Neither did I.

In fact, I would have found the start of this journey a lot easier had I known what to expect and when. Knowledge is power and we really need to start talking about a transition that happens to half the world's population.

So, click the link in my bio 👆 Share it with your friends, partners, everyone. Chat to your mum. And let's start demystifying menopause ✊

To quote the iconic @gloriasteinem, "This is what

To quote the iconic @gloriasteinem, "This is what 40 looks like."

I entered a new decade of my life earlier this year and over the past 8 or so months I've realised how few people in their 20s and 30s know what 40 actually looks like 🤷‍♀️

They clearly think it looks old 👵

They think it looks like marriage, mortgage, children and being on some kind of a career ladder 👰🏠👶🪜

They definitely don't think it looks like blue hair, colourful clothing, festivals, non-monogamy, and putting all your life in storage to go backpacking 🌈

I know this because I keep getting told that I don't look 40... and at first, it felt like the compliment they intended it as 💁‍♀️

After all, in our age-obsessed society, being told you look younger than you are is seen as the ultimate accolade, especially once you reach your middle era 💅

Yet, slowly, I've begun to feel less smug and more... invisible. Like I've somehow slipped through the cracks of life. Like maybe I'm failing at it 😬

But that simply isn't true.

So, I'm here to tell you that THIS is what 40 looks like 💙

It also looks like all the badass friends I have who were born in 1981 too, like @missamyzing, @miss.e_oh_my and @whyitshayley 💪

Because 40 doesn't look any one particular way. There is room for all our different versions of this age 🙋🏿‍♀️🙋🏻🙋🏽‍♂️

Which is why telling someone they don't look their age is like saying you don't really know what it looks like 👀

So, instead, I recommend telling someone how they make their age look. Do they make 50 look fun? Do they make 60 look beautiful? Do they make 40 look powerful? These are much lovelier compliments because it acknowledges that you see the person for who they are 🌻

I'm mainly putting this here so I can link people whenever they 'gift' me with the information that I don't look my age 😂

Want to read more about my thoughts all this? Click the link in my bio ☝️

You all know I have been LIVING in these dungarees

You all know I have been LIVING in these dungarees lately 🌈

But did you know I was sent them as a challenge? Yes, @lucyandyak gifted them to me to see if I could create a 'festival look' for @mightyhoopla this Saturday... but only using what I already had in my wardrobe 🧐

Usually, this would be SO EASY for me. Except, I put my whole life in storage earlier this year. Yup, ALL my drag. ALL my festival wear. ALL my club attire. The lot 👯‍♀️

I could easily be tempted to go on some fast fashion website and drop a tonne of cash on something I probably won't wear again. Instead, I got to team these amazing rainbow beauties with my fave swimwear, trainers and jewellery to create a super comfy and fun outfit for Saturday! 💖

Plus, the best thing is that I 100% will be wearing these clothes more than once. Anyone who has watched my stories lately won't be surprised to know that I'm wearing my @lucyandyak dungarees right now. I'm obsessed with them 🙈

Want a pair of your own? Use the code 'hoopla&yak' to get 10% off on your order 🥳

So, who is coming to @mightyhoopla this weekend?🙋‍♀️ 🎉

Can we talk about the weekend, please? 🌞🌈🥰

@margatepride has been a highlight of my calendar for a number of years now. It's unlike any other Pride celebration I've ever encountered 🏳️‍🌈 Very DIY, with zero corporate sponsorship, it has grown into this gorgeous celebration of love, freedom and queerness.

It's also hands down one of the best parties I go to all year 👯‍♀️ Dancing in the sunshine to amazing music, surrounded by wonderful people, at @thesundeckmargate is truly one of my happy places 🌞 And this year, I managed to dance on through to the wee hours at @margateartsclub as well, making Saturday an unforgettable experience 🥳

This year was kind of a tough one obviously. Lockdowns and painful life experiences had left many of us wondering if we were mentally and emotionally ready for a big weekend. So, it's a testament to how wonderful the energy of @margatepride is that we ended up having THE BEST TIME, even after such a difficult 18 months for everyone 🤗

Personally, it was a big one for me too. This weekend was the two year anniversary of a pretty emotionally traumatic time for me and I hadn't anticipated how anxious I would feel. Spending it surrounded by some of my favourite people in the world, who were there for me with supportive chats and big hugs, has meant I've come through it feeling incredibly grounded and positive about the future 💖

On top of all of this, it was also a big weekend for me because it was the first time I've ever attended a party with two people I'm dating - and everyone had an amazing time ✨ This happy polyam moment has made me feel enormously grateful to have such amazing people (partners, metamours and friends) in my life. Heading home to London now with a heart full of joy 🥰 Thank you Margate for all your magic.

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